Britney Spears documentary a vacuous piece of nothing.

My significant other has this morbid fascination with reality television. So, when she decides to watch some trainwreck on T.V., I'm forced to watch it also.

Last night, MTV aired the Britney Spears documentary. I use the word documentary loosely because it had few features of a documentary; it resembled a p.r. video.

Here's what I learned about Britney from Britney:

1) Britney is sad.

2) Britney hates the paparazzi.

3) Britney loves her kids.

4) Britney likes to drive around.

5) Britney wants to go out without being followed by cameras.

6) Britney likes to work.

That's about it.

MTV chose to up the stakes before the show by displaying a text prologue saying "Nothing was off limits, what we see is the real and raw truth."

That load of bullshit was designed to give people the impression that we'd be watching a real nitty-gritty, hard-hitting documentary where all warts and foibles would be on display.

The problem with nothing being off limits is that someone must actually ASK the appropriate questions. No one did.

Now, don't get me wrong. I feel sorry for Britney. I think she's been unfairly maligned as a result of her life circumstances.

This so-called documentary was nothing but a load of crap that provided no more information than what was already out there.

In essence, a total waste of time and footage designed to be an hour long commercial for Britney's record label.

MTV was punked.

They tried to convince their viewers to buy the bullshit to cover their butts for passing off some asinine puff piece as real television.

Can't we go back to the days when MTV was actually about music?

Britney may have gotten her VMA awards in exchange for the exclusive rights to show her documentary...maybe.

I've gotten a lot of grief for not living up to the name of my blog, specifically in the celebrity department.

In an effort to appease the powers that be (namely, those who thrive on gossip), I'm gonna provide my little bit of celebrity insight. Keep in mind that I have no inside information, just my astute sense of the entertainment biz as source for this. So without further adieu...

Question: Who has been the top tabloid fodder for the past couple of years?

Britney Spears.

Question: Who won a number of Video Music Awards from MTV this year?

Britney Spears.

Question: What network has the exclusive rights to show the upcoming 90 minute documentary from Britney, about Britney?

MTV.

Question: Who stands to benefit from all the advertising dollars generated from said tabloid darling Britney from the last few years?

MTV

Now, based on the surprise that Britney showed during her acceptance speeches on said Video Music Awards AND based on the fact that Britney won a number of awards that probably should have gone to other artists, AND based on the fact that MTV has the exclusive rights to the first run of Britney's documentary...I ask you this:

Is it possible that MTV gave Britney her VMA awards IN EXCHANGE for the exclusive rights to show the documentary that will bring in so much ad revenue?

Is it possible that the stench of PAYOLA is wafting through the air?

Thoughts anyone?